8 Signs You Are Dating The Wrong Person

Is there a nagging voice inside you? Something telling you that maybe this person you're spending time with isn't the best person for you to be with? That there's someone better? That your current relationship isn't what you had dreamed for yourself? If so, then these are probably feelings you want to explore further. Here are eight signs that you are dating the wrong person.

1. You're not Happy
This is a great place to start. Someone who is dating the right person consistently enjoys the relationship and feels a general sense of happiness. We're not saying that they wouldn't argue or be upset with their partner occasionally; even the healthiest couples do that. And we're not saying that there wouldn't be times when a person in a good relationship would get down or struggle emotionally at some level. But generally speaking, a person who is in the right relationship is going to be happy. So if you find yourself unhappy much of the time – and especially when you're with your partner – then that's a fairly clear sign that this may not be the best person for you.

2.You don't feel good about yourself
In addition to feeling happy, a person in a good relationship usually has a positive self esteem. Sure, they will have doubts and insecurities, and they may even deal with some bigger questions about themselves. But the time they spend with their partner will make them feel better about themselves, not worse. In contrast, if your partner exacerbates your self doubts and undermines your confidence, then that's a major red flag that this is not a good person for you to be in a relationship with. You want someone who affirms and celebrates the great things about you, not someone who wrecks your self confidence and torpedoes your every attempt at growth.

3.The people you trust urge you to get out
If the people you trust and are closest to feel that you've found a good catch and therefore encourage the relationship, that's a good sign that you two may belong together. On the other hand, if the people who love you the most are begging you to get away from someone, then that person's probably not the one for you. Of course, sometimes your friends and family may choose someone for you who isn't a great match. In these cases, it's not always wise to follow their advice. But if they are the people you trust the most and who know you best, and they are urging you to get out of your current relationship, then you owe it to yourself to give their advice a serious listen.

4. You find yourself constantly thinking about someone else
It's not always the case that a person is wrong because of some sort of character flaw or personal defect. Sometimes, the problem is simply that the person isn't someone else. If you are dating one person but secretly wishing you were with somebody else, then that's a problem. It could be that it's an ex you're still carrying a torch for. Or maybe it's someone else in your life you wish you could be with. Regardless, if you are constantly (or even frequently) wishing you were dating a different person, then that's a sure-fire sign that your current relationship is not all it should be.

5. You find yourself denying facts you know to be true
This is the old "river in Egypt" problem-you're swimming in "de Nile." And it can happen to all of us. We know something is true, but we just can't bring ourselves to see it or admit it. Maybe you don't want to believe something negative about your partner, or you want to ignore the fact that all you two ever do is argue when you're together. Whatever the actual issue, if you are working hard to deny facts about your relationship that you know to be true, then you are probably dating the wrong person.

6. The cons of staying together outweigh the pros
A cost-benefit analysis can be helpful in situations other than at the office. Sit down for a few minutes and write down the advantages of continuing to date the person you are with. Then list the disadvantages. When you compare the lists, you might determine that the reasons to stay together are more compelling than the reasons to break up. But if the opposite appears to be the case, then let logic be your guide and move on to someone else.

7. Your instincts are saying get out
As a general rule, voices inside you are there for a reason, and they ought to be listened to. Sometimes an inner voice may tell us that we've found our soul mate, or simply that we should continue to pursue a relationship until we discover how fulfilling it can be. But sometimes, something within us is whispering (or even screaming) that we're dating the wrong person. If this is the case for you, then one of the worst things you can do is to ignore that voice. Give it free reign and let it direct you to the conclusion you may have already come to.

8. You already know the truth
It might be the case that at this point, you really don't know whether you are dating the wrong person. If so, then you may want to continue the relationship for a while longer so you two can explore whether you should be together. Relationships often take time to achieve their full potential. But you may determine that you are dating someone you should definitely not be dating. If so, then you need to be brave enough to do what you need to do, and end the relationship.

Find someone who treats you like you need to be treated and makes you happy. Someone who makes you feel good about yourself, and whom the people you trust encourage you to be with. Someone who, when you are really honest with yourself, you know deserves to become that special person in your life. When you find that person, you won't have to worry that you're dating the wrong person.

Down Time...

Hey guys,

Today I'd just like to talk. No, I'm not bringing you any info on sales, hair/nail products nor Gossip. Nothing of the sort, it's just you and me today. I want to talk about the fact that we are already in 2010, and going full speed ahead... Has anyone really sat down and accessed their life? Do you all have any New Years resolutions that you intend to stick to? For starters, I intend to make 2010 a better year than 2008. I will be taking an active step in going green. I've already began turning off the lights (Thanks Avy!) and unplugging my chargers. I would suggest that everyone who isn't already doing this, take this small step in saving energy. As it is a recession, I intend to cook more as opposed to dinning out... anyone that knows me is aware of how big of a deal this is for me, but I am willing to try it.

Physically - I intend to exercise more this year, I need to start getting a handle on my health and weight... we aren't exactly getting younger, you know :)
I'd also like to go Rock climbing, like on Gladiators :) I know it's no Mount Everest but hey, don't judge me it's a start. I know you guys have seen "Gladiators" I always wanted to go on that show.

Fun - I intend to go to the theater more often,just today on the news they were relaying that ticket prices are beginning to drop significantly in order to save Broadway. I intend to be apart of the audience that helps to save Broadway. I plan on taking at least two vacations per year.. and No, Jersey does not count...LOL

Spiritually - I will go to Church more often this year... Yes! I do go to church, although I am of no specific religion.. just a spiritual being.

Intellectually - Reading is one of my favorite pastimes; however, I tend to stick to a few select genres. This year I want to venture into different genres and become more enlightened with each book. That doesn't mean no more Romance Novel's, I just can't give up Brenda Jackson.

What about you guys, I'm interested in knowing what everyone is thinking of doing, to make '09 their best year to date. Maybe your resolution is something that I should be doing... maybe mine yours, who knows...

Lastly, I'd like to add that those of us who have families should make an effort to spend more time with them, other than around the holidays... Everyday counts!

Alright, that's my daily tidbit... TTYL

Sizing Up America's Most Popular Diets

Experts weigh in on the pros and cons of each plan.

Did those holiday pounds creep up on you? Over indulgence is normal this time of year, but lets get back on track, summer will be here before you know it.
As someone who has tried Atkins, I can definitely say it works! But at what cost? Check out this review of some of America's most popular diet plans, you may find one that's right for you.





The key to losing weight—and keeping it off—is to find the eating plan that fits your personality and lifestyle. To help, we've rounded up expert opinions on the pros and cons of the 10 most popular diets in America.

"All the popular diets can help you lose weight because they provide almost identical calorie intakes," says nutritional biochemist and author Shawn Talbott, Ph.D. "But different people may do better on different diets because of personal tastes. For instance, if you love bread, don't even think about trying Atkins … because it won't work."

Here's a look at the 10 most popular diets in America:

Jenny Craig
Tasty, ready-made meals and snacks—"Jenny's Cuisine"—are perks of Valerie Bertinelli and Queen Latifah's favorite diet (which is similar to NutriSystem). Amy Hendel, health expert and author of Fat Families, Thin Families (Benbella Books, 2008), sums it up: "No thinking, just eating."

Pros: Jenny Craig is a balanced, calorie-controlled diet with weekly consultations in person or by phone.

Cons: Jenny's Cuisine gets expensive (though a short-term stint could teach portion control). "Average people aren't under the same scrutiny as the celebrities who lost tons of weight, so the pressure to stay on track is decreased," says Hendel. In addition, participants may tire of the prepared meals and may not learn how to count calories outside the program.

Mediterranean Diet
Rather than focusing on calories, this healthy eating plan revolves around veggies, whole grains, olive oil, nuts, fish, poultry, and dairy—with limited red meats and moderate wine consumption.

Pros: The home cooking emphasis makes it inexpensive and easier to track fats, cholesterol, and sodium, says Hendel. Plus, these flavorful foods don't trigger feelings of deprivation. Nutritionist Haruko Oyama of Montefiore Medical Center says this diet is connected to numerous health benefits, such as decreased risks of cardiovascular disease, and possibly diabetes and Alzheimer's.

Cons: "The effect of the Mediterranean Diet on weight loss specifically hasn't been as widely researched as the health effects," says Oyama. Plus, people could take the freedom to eat healthy fats a little too far—and overdo it.

Zone Diet
You won't overdo it if you stay in the Zone: one gram of fat for every two grams of protein and three grams of carbohydrates, meant to balance hormones and control hunger.

Pros: New York City-based nutritionist and personal trainer Ariane Hundt says, "This diet promotes fat loss, reduces inflammation, increases energy, reduces cholesterol, and has anti-aging benefits." Plus, nutritionists generally favor healthy, balanced meals.

Cons: "The fat, protein, [and] carb groups are a little simplistic," says Hendel. "We need some calcium from dairy every day, and we need to separate grain-based carbohydrates from fruits and vegetables (the Zone counts them as one). And, limiting grains can be difficult to do over the long term. Most Zone-committed eaters seem to be highly motivated, physically active people who can afford the home-delivered meals."

Weight Watchers


This diet giant also sells its own pre-made meals plus books and magazines, and recently introduced the new Momentum program, replacing the traditional Flex and Core plans. Momentum revolves around the POINTS system and offers strategies for overcoming temptations. Diet coach Laurie Beebe, R.D., says, "Weight Watchers is effective because people can stay on it for years and keep the weight off."

Pros: Regular meetings offer information-driven discussions, weigh-ins, tools such as food tracking journals and activity calculators, and encouragement—plus Weight Watchers provides online support. Beebe confirms that the portion control, controlled calories, and accountability help people lose weight.

Cons: Each meeting costs about $10 (depending on your area), tools cost extra, and the POINTS system doesn't necessarily reflect the nutritional value of food.

Volumetrics
In this plan, nutrient-dense foods full of fiber, vitamins and minerals are encouraged (such as veggies, fruits, broth-based soups, nonfat milk, etc.), while energy-dense foods are in the no-fly zone (cheeseburgers, cookies, packaged foods, etc.).

Pros: It's a healthy, inexpensive way to lose weight. "Diets often fail because people feel hungry," says dietician Jodi Greebel, author of The Little Black Apron: A Single Girl's Guide to Cooking with Style and Grace (Polka Dot Press, 2007). "Volumetrics encourages large quantities of nutrient-dense foods, which fill you up. This plan also encourages food journals and exercising—two keys to permanent weight loss."

Cons: "Volume alone may not satisfy your taste buds," says Hundt, potentially leaving you vulnerable to those tempting fat, sugar, and salt cravings.

The Flat Belly Diet
Liz Vaccariello, editor-in-chief of Prevention magazine, co-wrote the book about this female-focused, Mediterranean-style diet. The claim: Eating monounsaturated fatty acids (MUFAs) at every meal will flatten bellies without exercise. Meals are capped at 400 calories, foods that lead to bloating are discouraged, and participants are told to eat every four hours.

Pros: "Eating a specific number of calories regularly will help maintain energy levels, stabilize blood glucose levels, and prevent hunger," says Susan Kraus, a clinical dietitian at Hackensack University Medical Center. "Plus, the recipes are tasty, which keeps dieters satisfied."

Cons: Research doesn't prove that diets target specific body parts, and health experts aren't crazy about de-emphasizing exercise.

Weigh Down Diet
Satisfy your cravings here! "This diet focuses on portion sizes and hunger cues, which are very important for weight loss," says Greebel. All foods are allowed in this Higher Power–based diet; eating is motivated by the body's physical needs.

Pros: Kraus says dieters are encouraged to become more spiritual, stop obsessing about food, and take more responsibility for their eating habits.

Cons: Greebel points out that it's difficult to lose weight if you're not watching what you eat, even if you're careful with portion sizes. Kraus adds that people might need a more specific, structured plan to lose weight successfully.

South Beach Diet
If you need structure, here's one of the strictest diets on the market. Cardiologist Arthur Agatston's diet is divided into three phases: Eliminate Cravings, Lose Steadily, and Maintain. Strict guidelines about reduced-fat dairy, lean proteins, veggies and healthy fats are part of every phase.

Pros: "The core of this diet is a heart-health promoting, balanced diet that most people can follow if they don't mind the rules," says Hendel.

Cons: Dr. Jan Evans, R.D., of Richmond, Va., warns, "The first two phases are unhealthy, unbalanced, and not only cause fluid loss [and] dehydration, but can cause ketosis and electrolyte imbalance. The diet is too restrictive in the first two phases, and lacks essential nutrients."

Atkins Diet
Exercising is essential for losing weight—and so is eating a balanced diet. Similar to the Scarsdale diet that rose to fame in the late 1970s, the Atkins plan focuses on increased protein intake and limited carbohydrates.

Pros: "These very low carb diets can quickly and dramatically shed pounds," says Hendel. "Water weight goes first, then fat."

Cons: Low-carb diets have a bad rap in the medical community because of the potential long-term health effects of excess protein: high cholesterol, kidney abnormalities, cancer risks, unhealthy metabolic states, and osteoporosis. Atkins now includes more plant-based foods than when it was first introduced, though many nutritionists still deem it unhealthy. "Most people simply cannot sustain eating this much protein," Hendel says. "I've also smelled the sweat and breath odors of people on long-term high-protein diets, and it's a bit offensive."

Sugar Busters Diet
This low-carb eating plan is similar to Atkins, but not as intense.

Pros: "This diet steers clear of sugar-laden processed foods," says Hundt. "Natural foods—lean proteins, good fats, vegetables and whole grains—are emphasized, resulting in balanced blood sugar levels, increased fat burning, and a healthy lean body."

Cons: A potential drawback of this low-carb diet is increased protein consumption, which may have negative health effects in the long run. Steering clear of sugar is an excellent way to lose weight, but choosing a healthy balance of proteins, carbs and fats is also important.

And, here's one bonus eating plan to chew on:

The Maker's Diet
This diet is based on Biblical and scientific principles. It encourages dieters to observe God's dietary laws and attack the three I's: insulin, infection and inflammation. Fasting, supplements, cleansing agents, and kosher practices are promoted—making this diet less appealing to the general population.


By Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen for MSN Health & Fitness

Mean Green Cleaning Solutions.

Happy New Year Everyone!

I'm not much of a resolution maker, but it is important to always aim to be a better version of oneself. Not only year by year but day by day.

I am relatively late to the environmental protection party, and I am by no means the "The Queen Of Green" but I do believe that every little bit helps. If I can make a difference in the world by doing something as simple as telling the guy at my local deli that "No, I really don't need a bag for a pack of gum." you better believe I'm going to do it.

With that said, be aware of how damaging many household detergents and cleansers are to the environment. Every time you scrub the sink or do a load of laundry, you are sending all of those toxins down the drain and into the water.
Or, if saving the world doesn't do it for you, think about saving yourself. That fresh clean laundry smell (which is my personal favorite smell BTW) isn't ocean breeze, it's the smell of a possible endocrinology issue starting. Yes, many household cleansers contain ingredients known to cause reproductive, and/or endocrine issues, as well as cancer.

So for the New Year I'll be trying a few new cleaning methods out. I've heard good things about Nellie's Laundry Nuggets. (Why is the word nugget so funny?)


Available at NelliesAllNatural.com
36 Loads for $9.99
60 Loads $14.99.


Or maybe saving money is a better incentive for you, try these $ savers around the house.

You can use vinegar or club soda in a spray bottle in place of glass cleaners

Baking Soda can be used in place of your scrubbing products. Mix it with vinegar, lemon juice, or my personal fave, Dr. Bronners All Natural Soap to make a good scrubby paste.



Dr. Bronners can also be used for dishwashing, laundry detergent, and various other household and body cleansing. Stock up at DrBronner.com, buying on the website is way cheaper than what I see in stores.

For '09, don't just toast to health, do something about it!